Fear Of Whales

Tales of a reluctant minister


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This post was actually written years ago but I was too afraid to publish it at the time. I usually write my posts in advance and schedule them to publish once a week.

The other night I was hanging out with some buddies (Normal people not Christians). We were discussion what we should do for the evening and one of them suggested this “thing” that was being held at one of the auditoriums on campus.

When asked what it was about he said

“I’m not sure exactly, apparently they tell you who you are, based upon modern art and music… It’s like an arts presentation, everybody who goes get’s free Radina’s Drinks”

Immediately I responded, “I’m out! It’s a Time Share Presentation”

My friends were confused” What, You don’t like Radina’s Drinks?”

“No I love Radina’s Drinks” (Radina’s is a trendy coffehouse in town) “What I don’t love is events that have to bribe me to come with food or drink. What that means is they are going to make me listen to something I don’t want to listen to”

“Like a time share presentation?”

Exactly like a time share presentation”

Well they were not going to have any of me prejudging the event based on a third hand description and the fact that food was being provided. they even teased me a bit “Can you imagine if we get there and it is a time share presentation? and we’ll be all like ‘HOW DID HE KNOW?’ haha” So we went anyway, and resolved that we would leave if we weren’t enjoying it. I thought they might lock the doors on us, they thought that was ridiculous.

Well I still thought I was right but I was curious enough to figure out exactly what flavor of right I was that I went with them, and indeed as soon as I arrived I could tell something was up even though no real estate was readily being sold.

There was a line a mile long for coffee, and homemade cookies for everyone. One of my friends from a biblestudy I go to was there, which seemed odd, as he’s not exactly the type to frequent Arts Presentations (neither is he the type to go places for the free drinks).

When I went to get a cookie I found another friend, a fellow campus minister, we had some chitchat. Eventually I asked him if he knew what he was attending, because I didn’t. and he said something along the lines of

“It’s a presentation! about… What your soul is longing for”

Pausing in the middle in that awkward way people do when they are carefully choosing their words so as to neither lie nor tell the truth.

“Oh” said I “So it’s sponsored by…”

“Yeah!” he said while nodding.

So without thinking I did what anyone would do in my situation as a campus minister who found I’d accidentally been drawn to an event put on by another campus ministry to bribe my friends into saving their souls. I went back over to my friends and shouted

“Called IT!” while throwing up the horns and making a classic “In Yo’ Face” expression

“So It’s a time share presentation?”

“It sho’ is!” (I get ghetto when I’m right sometimes)

“They are selling time shares?”

“Well no, not time shares, but it’s a sales presentation that they’re bribing us to come to”

“So what are they selling?”


“Oh! Well than you should be all about it man!”

“Nooo” I replied “I’m all about truth and honesty and transparency, I want you to believe in Jesus, but I’m not going to lie to you to get you there. Do you want to stay?”


So we all left.

After the fact I realized this was actually a pretty radical and controversial thing to do. I don’t like dishonesty. I like transparency, and I felt personally betrayed and inconvenienced by their behavior done in the name of Jesus so I walked out. But what do you think? Did I do the right thing? Or should I have let it play out?


Written by RyanGaffney

July 8, 2015 at 9:07 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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